Smoke swirling through the air
Surround me with your care
Into a trance I stare
Free floating everywhere
Onto my skin so bare
Through my hands and hair
Smoke swirling through the air
Very nice piece, but I have a question: should the first and last lines be the same? It seems like there's a word missing ("the") in the first line. Did you plan it like that, or is it simply a typo?
I don't really plan out my poetry but with this one I figured ending the way I started would be a nice way to bring it full circle. With or without the the it doesn't really matter. I just write it and everything else can be edited later if I so desire. Good eye though! I probably will add in a the at the beginning because I feel it sounds weird without it.
You're quite welcome. As for my having a "good eye", it's more accurately a "good ear", since I always read poetry aloud. And you've got a very good poetic voice, especially if what you've given us in your blog are mostly unedited, original inspirations.
I'd like to use this as an invocation the next time we cast a circle, but (with your permission, of course) I'd like to tinker with it just a bit -- mostly phrasing it for a group rather than the solitary voice you wrote it in, although I have a couple of other ideas as well. LMK what you think, please?
Reading poetry out loud is a good way to read it. Thank you again for your kind words. Most of my stuff on here is unedited. I would love for you to use it as an invocation and I'm fine with you tinkering with it. As long as its not for profit then you can do what you will with things on here. It would be nice if you mentioned this blog if you don't mind. Word of mouth is often the best promoter.
8 comments:
Oh, I really like this for a chant for spells. Is it ok if I use this?
Thanks a bunch.
You can use it! I would love if you used it! Everything on here you can use as long as it's not for profit.
Ok. I would use it at my blog and you are linked there as well. This is so fun. Love and Light!
Very nice piece, but I have a question: should the first and last lines be the same? It seems like there's a word missing ("the") in the first line. Did you plan it like that, or is it simply a typo?
Bright Blessings,
MH
I don't really plan out my poetry but with this one I figured ending the way I started would be a nice way to bring it full circle. With or without the the it doesn't really matter. I just write it and everything else can be edited later if I so desire. Good eye though! I probably will add in a the at the beginning because I feel it sounds weird without it.
and by the way thank you for your compliment. :)
You're quite welcome. As for my having a "good eye", it's more accurately a "good ear", since I always read poetry aloud. And you've got a very good poetic voice, especially if what you've given us in your blog are mostly unedited, original inspirations.
I'd like to use this as an invocation the next time we cast a circle, but (with your permission, of course) I'd like to tinker with it just a bit -- mostly phrasing it for a group rather than the solitary voice you wrote it in, although I have a couple of other ideas as well. LMK what you think, please?
BB,
MH
Reading poetry out loud is a good way to read it. Thank you again for your kind words. Most of my stuff on here is unedited. I would love for you to use it as an invocation and I'm fine with you tinkering with it. As long as its not for profit then you can do what you will with things on here. It would be nice if you mentioned this blog if you don't mind. Word of mouth is often the best promoter.
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